Friday, July 14, 2006

20 ways of Insanity - Exams.

1. Bring a pillow. The big, fluffy type.
2. Do a Gollum/Smeagol impersonation when debating whether to choose 'A' or 'B'.
3. Threaten to sue because the chairs do not have headrests.
4. Bring an abacus for Mathematics.
5. Raise your hands from time to time, and when the invigilator comes, claim that you are merely improving blood flow to your brain.
6. Ask for extra paper. At the end of the exam, tear them all up and throw the pieces into the air while yelling "CONFETTI!!". When the invigilator comes to collect your paper, simply point to the pieces of paper on the floor.
7. Stare at the invigilator. When he/she comes over to inquire, say "Your face.... It gives me great inspiration." Then start writing.
8. Scribble some random doodles on the table after the exam has commenced. Midway through the exam, scream, " Oh no!!! I didn't know this table was rigged! I'm innocent, I tell you, INNOCENT!!"
9. Wink at the nearest girl/guy occasionally. If questioned by the invigilator, reply "What, a person can't flirt from time to time?" ( If you haven't noticed by now, most of these steps involve giving a hard time to invigilators. But then again, they might just appreciate the amusement. )
10. Bring lots of pens/pencils. Uno-stacko. Enough said. ( or Jenga, whatever suits your taste ).
11. Water balloons. Enough said too.
12. Use chalk to draw a square around your table and label it "My Thinking Area".
13. Juggle erasers.
14. Bring a pair of glasses that are tinted blue ( or any colour you prefer ). During the exam, put them on and stare and point at the front board while jabbering "invisible ink, invisible ink......"
15. During the objective paper, keep flipping a coin. After each flip, mutter audibly " heads...." and fill in your answer. Make sure the sound of the coin hitting the table is not muffled so it can be heard clearly. (alternate between heads and tails)
16. Perform a ritual prior to the exam on your table so that you will be more lucky for #15.
17. Turn your table and chair around, facing the back of the room instead of the front. Insist that this configuration is essential to optimize your Chi flow.
18. Do breathing exercises to relax. Loudly. If the invigilator ( or anyone else ) asks you to stop, shout to them " you're messing me up even more!".
19. Practice yodelling.
20. Write all of these down as your answers during the exam.

~Snitched off Jason~

No comments: